One of the first things that drew me to my husband was his sense of humor. The guy was a blast to be with. I never laughed so much in my life. But the longer we were married, the more kids we had and the more pressures we experienced leading a large church, the more our serious adult responsibilities seemed to be squeezing the fun out of us.
We still had our lighter moments, but that constant, easy, light-hearted laughter that had once been a staple of our relationship kept getting harder and harder to come by. Maybe you can relate.
Research from the University of Denver supports a high correlation between fun and marital happiness.
They found the amount of fun couples have together was
the strongest factor in overall marital happiness.
Another study by colleagues at State University of New York-Stoney Brook showed that sharing new and exciting activities consistently contributes to better relationships. They found that people in happy relationships plan fun activities and that fun keeps the relationship strong and fresh.
We get how easy it is to slip into a rut doing the same things, going to the same places but over time that sucks the life out of a vibrant relationship.
If your marriage feels challenging at the moment fun might seem like the last thing you want to do, but according to William Glasser, MD it’s the best and easiest way to get your love back on track. He says,
Why do so many people who enjoy fun
in other areas find so little fun in marriage?
There is no greater obstacle to having fun in marriage than
criticizing, blaming, controlling or complaining.
Fun is actually part of a genetic drive
that is easy and enjoyable to satisfy
but almost all unhappy couples ignore what
could easily help them more than anything else.
Here are 50 ways to increase your “couple fun” and build a stronger, lasting bond.
1) Ask your spouse what “fun” feels and looks like to them right now. ( If their answer doesn’t include you follow it up with “what might having fun together look like?”
2) Think about this: Would your spouse say you are a fun person to be with? What can you do today to increase your own fun-to-be-with factor?
3) Decide to be ” the fun spouse” -the one to initiate more laughter in your relationship.
4) Agree to share in at least two 30 minute, light and pleasurable moments each week.
5) Brainstorm fun activities you both get equal pleasure from.
6) Try something that is both fun and new. Novelty brings new energy to your relationship.
7) Take dance lessons or watch a salsa video and dance in your living room
8) Take up a new sport like golf or paddle boarding
9) Go geocaching where you use a GPS to find hidden objects that are posted on a website
9) Go bowling or try getting your hands dirty in a pottery class
10) Do cross- word puzzles together or play Scrabble or write a love poem with each person contributing a line at a time
11) Pick something new to learn or explore together
12) Rent a motor scooter
13) Try a new physical challenge – a 20-mile bike ride, a 10-mile hike, find an obstacle or zip line course
14) Go canoeing or kayaking – try a guided kayak trip if you don’t want to go it alone
15) Find an arcade and play video games – even better if you don’t know how to play them
16) Go to an amusement park without the kids
14) Take a cooking class or watch a video and prepare a new dish you’ve never tried
15) Find someone who speaks another language and try to learn it
16) Surprise your spouse with a picnic in a weird or tranquil or brand new spot
17) Wash the car together and have a little fun with the soap & hose
18) Go antiquing or to a flea market -start collecting something that interests you both
19) Visit an art museum and make up funny stories about the pictures or sculptures
20) Go tubing in a river or hook rafts together at the beach, snorkel or throw a Frisbee
21) Look for ways to play light practical jokes on each other – (the idea is to laugh, not humiliate)
22) Watch comedy movies, discover a new comedian, even better find a local improv show
23) Go somewhere and do some serious karaoke
24) Put together a mix tape of your favorite high-energy songs and clean out the garage
25) ” ” and sing out loud on a short road trip or “country drive”
26) Read a joke book or funny book out loud (Dave Barry’s early books made our stomachs hurt)
27) Go to the travel section of a bookstore and start planning a trip together
28) Take a day trip to a nearby town and when you get there ask random strangers ” what’s something
really fun to do here?” Then go do it. Or play tourist in your own town and do the same.
29) Rent a boat or jet ski, take a carriage ride or do a sunset cruise
30) Go to the store and buy a new board game & then invite some fun friends to join you
31) Make a habit of playful teasing of a sensual nature
32) Drive to a secluded spot and make out
33) Instigate a pillow fight
34) See how many uses you can find for whip cream
34) Try something you both find a bit scary
35) Ask friends on social media for their ideas of “couple fun”
36) Start a garden or visit a public garden-guess the plant names or make up some of your own
37) Go to an unfamiliar restaurant and agree to order a dish you’ve never eaten
38) Learn the art of bird watching
39) Send funny text messages
40) Take a wine tasting tour
41) Take a home repair class at a local hardware store or choose an easy DIY project
42) Rent a bicycle built for two
43) Make a “marriage bucket list” and give serious effort to completing it
44) Play Bingo at a local church or community center
45) Play with puppies at a shelter or sign up to help a great cause
46) Kiss in the rain
47) Rent a tandem bike
48) Go skinny dipping
49) Get a book on massage and practice on each other
50) Lay on a blanket at night and count the stars
Don’t let the day-to-day grind of life rob you of the joy your relationship was intended to give you and your spouse. Taking the time to delight in each other is not a luxury. It’s an essential. As strongly as possible, we challenge you to take having fun together… seriously. You’ll be reaping the benefits in your relationship for years to come.
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