God’s Message To You Through A Violin

Not long ago, I was asked to speak at a church and just before I brought the message the worship team led us in a song that featured a violin. Later, I learned that violin was being played by a girl named Mariana, who was one of the top young violinists in Romania.

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As Mariana played I sensed God drawing my attention to the instrument and saying, “have something to say to you and to the church through this violin.”  So, as I sat there, totally moved by the soaring, emotive melody God spoke two things to me :

1) Just like in nature, everything that appears to have died, comes back again in other life-giving forms.

That violin was a miracle.  Once, it was a piece of dead wood.

Now in the hands of Mariana, it became a singing tree!

In 1 Corinthians 15:46, scripture says that “first comes the natural, then the spiritual.”  One of the best ways to understand what’s going on in our invisible, spiritual world is to notice what’s happening in front of us in the material one.

LTP 23- Accepting Our Necessary Losses

In this podcast Episode, David & Caron Loveless discuss how to live through and actually cooperate with both little and big deaths or losses throughout our lives, so something even larger and more fulfilling can emerge from it all… and how the resurrection shows the way.

Listen to the Audio

Here is a brief summary of today’s episode of “The Live True Podcast.”  You can use this as a reference or reminder of key things you feel like you need to pay attention to or pass on to others, in the next 7 days of your life.

Let’s begin with my confession:  “I don’t like to die!”

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It’s no surprise that as humans we avoid physical death, like the plague.  But there’s actually a far more significant death that we avoid… it’s the death of our ego… the death of who we perceive we are, or think we should be… the death of who we think others want us to be or think that we are.  So let me try again.

“I don’t like for anything I’ve manufactured…. created… can take credit for… I’m attached to… my beliefs, my opinions… my compulsive thinking….that i believe enhances or supports my identity.. I don’t like for any of that to die.”

We have a fear of dying our little deaths but it is the thing that keeps us from growing.

LTP 21 Healing Wounds From Our Parents

An Interview with Francis Anfuso

In this very emotional podcast episode, David Loveless interviews Francis Anfuso on how we can see further healing from wounds that initially came from our parents.

Francis grew up in an extremely difficult home that people throughout the country thought would have been magnificent, but behind the curtains, it was everything but that.

Here is a part of his journey toward healing… and we believe, your journey toward healing.

Listen to the Audio

Here is a brief summary of today’s episode of “The Live True Podcast.”  You can use this as a reference or reminder of key things you feel like you need to pay attention to or pass on to others, in the next 7 days of your life.

We know that our pain can lead to our passion which can then lead to our purpose in life… unless we get jaded in that pain.

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In the interview, we explore some of these questions and more:

  • What does your journey look like when someone else’s script is informing your story, and the wounds remain unattended?
  • What do you do when you can’t even relate to God as father?
  • How can that be changed?
  • Can a person who has been through any difficulty in their childhood, reclaim any part of that childhood?
  • How can we process our experiences of:

A Wounded Heart

An Abandoned Child

The Neglected Child

The Fearful Child

The Embittered Child

The Abused Child

The Performance Driven Child

The Gutsiest Blog I’ve Ever Written About The Scariest Thing We’ve Ever Done

What I’m about to share with you is deeply personal. This is the first time I’ve shared it publicly. And I’m a little anxious because once it’s out there, it’s out there. But I’m motivated. I believe what could come from it is utterly critical for someone- maybe several someones.

—-

One morning, almost three years ago, I woke to the sound of my husband sobbing. He was hunched over in a chair at the foot of the bed. His face, streaming tears, his eyes, scared and bloodshot.

I bolted up. “Oh, my gosh, honey. What’s the matter? What in the world? What has happened?” My mind darted through possibilities. I’d seen him cry plenty of times, but never like this. I instantly hurt for whatever drastic thing was causing him such anguish.

“I have a really, really hard thing to tell you.”

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That really, really hard thing was going to shatter every molecule of our entire world. Except for learning that my husband had died –this news was the worst possible. It was the one announcement I was 1000 percent certain would never be handed to me.

If someone had held a gun to my head and said, “True or false. Your husband has been unfaithful. If we find out that statement is false you live. If it’s true, you die. ” Cool as a cucumber I would have said, “Oh gee. I’m shaking in my boots.

But the gun went off .

And I did die- for a long time — I died a thousand, million big and little deaths.  And so did the man I loved. 

Nothing to Prove: Chapter 2: What We Know Now

The following is an excerpt from our new ebook that is available beginning today.  This book is a a very candid, behind the scenes look, at the journey of transformation that we’ve been on the last several years, and the things we’ve learned that can help change your life as well.

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Chapter 2:  What We Know Now

 

You can never be other than who you are

until you are willing to embrace the reality of who you are.

David Benner

You don’t have to experience a tragedy like ours, or any other failure with a thousand different names, in order to identify the real root of your own internal issues. We hope it won’t come to that. Our purpose in writing this book is to help you avoid some of the ditches in your future if at all possible. Unfortunately, for many of us it often does take a serious trial, illness or loss to break us open enough to see parts of our life that aren’t working so well.

If You’re Running On Empty

Things seem to go empty just when you need them most.

Like, you’re making a turkey sandwich, you reach in the frig and the mayonnaise jar is empty.  Or, you’re twenty minutes late for an appointment across town and you look down and your fuel gauge reads “empty.” Or you’re hiking in the desert, in August, and you open your canteen but …it’s empty.

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Empty things are a problem for us.

How to Talk to That Voice in Your Head

How to Talk to That Voice in Your HeadListening to the voice in my head has caused me a lot of suffering. You know the voice I’m talking about.

Throughout the day it shows up, uninvited, and hijacks your thoughts. The voice dishes out color commentary about you and other people or situations. Sometimes, it wakes you up at night. It sounds like a cross between a drill sergeant, The Wicked Witch of the West and you. And it never has anything good to report. It says things like:

  • “It’s your fault. If you had your act together / hadn’t been so clueless/ weren’t such a __________person _________wouldn’t have happened.”
  • You’re such an idiot. You shouldn’t have done/said _____________.
  • You should have done/said ___________.
  • Who do you think you are anyway? You’re never going to be __________. You’re always going to be __________.
  • You might as well face it. You don’t have what it takes to ________________________.
  • __________ is what’s wrong with you. You’re a total _________.
  • Ohmigosh! Get a clue! You are SOOOOOO old/dumb/fat/skinny/tall/short/ugly/plain/boring/slow/shy/ needy/poor/unproductive/_________. No one’s ever going to __________ you.

And because this voice can actually see through walls and brain matter and is so incredibly omniscient, it also tells us, with great accuracy, what other people are thinking. Like…

LT Podcast 1- Why Live True?


David and Caron recording their podcacstToday’s brand new, inaugural “Live True Podcast” is on “Why Live True?”  It’s a conversation around:

  • Why we’ve chosen the name “Live True” and what it means for your life and ours
  • What has transpired in David & Caron Loveless’ life and story?
  • What David & Caron do with “Live True

1. We publish free weekly, practical, gut honest blogs.  We’re passionate to

An Open Letter to My Wife, to God, & to You

phontoIf you don’t mind my getting a little personal… or even if you do mind, I’m going to anyway.  Let me get personal about me and my story… and then I want to get personal about you and your story.

I’ve got something extraordinary to celebrate.  

Caron and I are celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary this week.  Under any circumstances, this would feel like an extraordinary thing to celebrate.  40 years of doing anything doesn’t happen that often.

 

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But as you know, under our circumstances, it’s a sign and a wonder.  It’s a miracle of miracles.

Almost 2 1/2 years ago when I woke up my wife one morning, to confess to her the worst failure of my life, that had happened more than several years earlier, I watched what had been a fabulous marriage for both of us, descend into a depth of hell, that there is not adequate enough language to describe.

Because of the massive pain it brought to Caron… and the massive disorientation it brought to her and our family… as well as the public humiliation that ensued, I would have never predicted we would be where we are today.  I believed in miracles… and had participated in many over the years, but this was in another miracle galaxy that I wasn’t sure we could reach.

What I’ve Learned In The Desert

I’ve spent some time in the desert. 

One August friends loaned us their home in Palm Desert. Daily temperatures were around 114 degrees. When I went looking for a tennis partner I was told no one played past 11:00am. Just breathing was a chore in that kind of heat. We drove up into the mountains nearby and as far as you could see the land was brittle, barren and forbidding. I think all we did that trip was sit in the pool.

I’ve spent time in gardens, too.

A few weeks ago, Caron and I went to a little town in north Florida and spent a day biking through some of the most beautiful landscape we’d seen in awhile.  Giant, moss-draped oaks lined the streets.

Deep shade kept us cool in the heat of the day. Everywhere you looked there were flowers and miles and miles of lush coastal marshes.  Just a few hours there and we felt refreshed and renewed. 

All relationships and leadership seem to flow on a continuum

between garden and desert experiences. 

It’s interesting to me that our spiritual story begins in a garden in Genesis 1… and our biological story begins in a garden-like womb. Everything we need to thrive and grow is there.  We are fully provided for.

But, look where we’re first introduced to the ministry of Jesus ––in the desert.  God’s Good News Tour doesn’t open on top of a scenic mountain or in a palatial garden.

It starts from a place of isolated emptiness. 

In the beginning of John’s gospel a voice called people to the desert.  The desert is a deeply evocative place in the scriptures, because we’ve been there, metaphorically, in our own lives.  In the Old Testament the desert speaks of leaving, losing, wandering, struggle and preparation. And it’s where people first hear the promise of a promise land… the promise of a messiah

Years ago, after decades of what felt to me like relentless sacrifice in loving and leading, I got increasingly resentful whenever I was forced into “desert time.”  I didn’t deserve to be there. I had worked so hard to get to the “promise land.”

I never said it, but I know I felt that after all I’d done,

I didn’t  deserve ‘no man’s land.’

Know what I’m talking about?

What is your desert of difficulty or temptation or hardship where you feel most discouraged? 

Out in the desert John the Baptist preached,  “Prepare the way for the Lord.  Make straight paths for him.”  

God seems to be saying: make a straight path for me to walk in the desert places of your life… let’s walk straight into it… and straight through it.  You don’t have to stay there, but let’s not miss there.

I’m writing today from the ‘outback’

of the greatest desert experience of my life.

It’s been a couple of years now. And,, as much as I initially agonized in it, over time, I’ve actually grown fond of much of it’s unique terrain and monastic qualities.  

Here’s how I think I got here:

  1.  I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind, that God had led me into this desert experience. I was fully responsible for what got me here and yet, it was God who brought me here. And though there have been many times of extreme loneliness, we know we are not alone.
  1.  I had to ‘get straight” in my mind that this path, while difficult beyond description, was going somewhere profoundly good-and it wasn’t to hell.  God promises that ALL things end up bringing us to where we began- home. And God’s home always has a garden.
  1. I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind that this path, wasn’t going to last forever…. even though I could see no other road ahead. There is a time and season for everything.  And there’s a reason time passes in seasons.God is always creating, redeeming and resurrecting. So this thing IS actually going somewhere. Somewhere really good.

Jesus came bringing good news.  

And a part of what makes it so good is that

it stands up to the heat of even the most difficult places.

Where is your desert?  

Where do you feel you don’t have enough?  Where do you feel hungry for approval?  What are you lacking? What’s always missing? Where is it you don’t deserve to be? What is it you don’t have enough of? Must you always have a next hill to climb, another mission impossible to accomplish?  What things are you using to ‘medicate’ yourself?

* We can get pretty desperate when we think we’re in a desert.*

Wherever that place is for you, God says let me walk with you THERE, because I’m not ashamed of it anymore than I am ashamed of you.  I’m good news to you in the desert, as well as the garden.  I love you. I’m with you…wherever you are.

…Wilderness and desert will sing joyously, the badlands will celebrate and flower—Like the crocus in spring, bursting into blossom, a symphony of song and color.  

Energize the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!”

Springs of water will burst out in the wilderness, streams flow in the desert. Hot sands will become a cool oasis, thirsty ground a splashing fountain.

The people God has ransomed will come back on this road. They’ll sing as they make their way home to Zion, unfading halos of joy encircling their heads,  Welcomed home with gifts of joy and gladness as all sorrows and sighs scurry into the night.

Isaiah 35 (Message)

This is what I’ve experienced in my current desert.  In the midst of all the pain and loss, a symphony of song and color have emerged that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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