In this podcast Episode 17, David & Caron Loveless discuss how to discover a primary root of your stress is not ‘out there’ but ‘in here.’

Most of us think that our stress comes from somewhere outside ourselves, and sometimes that’s true.  But more often than not, we are stressing ourselves out from the inside by our own thoughts and feelings of unworthiness.

Listen to the Audio

Here is a brief summary of today’s episode of “The Live True Podcast.”  You can use this as a reference or reminder of key things you feel like you need to pay attention to or pass on to others, in the next 7 days of your life.

Earlier this week we wrote a blog on 17 ways the need for approval is stressing you out.  We promised a further conversation around this in todays podcast.

Everyone likes to feel approved, get praised for a job well done or be on the receiving end of a sincere compliment. Where approval goes wrong is when we do or say things, often unconsciously, to gain admiration or applause in order to cover some sense of unworthiness or insufficiency.

Without realizing it, the need to feel admired or liked can add boatloads of stress to our already maxed out life.

Listen to the podcast as we discuss in detail (as opposed to just the bulleted points in this weeks blog) the 17 signs your drive to feel validated and gain approval could be stressing you out.

Here is a review of those signs:

* You often talk up your accomplishments or connections so others will know how well you’ve done or are doing

* You position yourself or the work you do in a slightly better light than is actually true.

* You downplay your mistakes so that others won’t think less of you.  

* You “one-up” others in conversations, in meetings or when people are swapping stories. You try to top whatever someone else says or has done. 

* You are highly competitive. Winning is everything. Failure is not an option. 

* It’s hard for you to say no. 

* You volunteer a lot, or constantly work overtime to please the boss. 

* You are the responsible one in the family–everyone depends on you to come through. 

* You feel resentful that others don’t notice all the good things you do for them.

* You constantly check social media for “likes” on your latest posts 

* You can’t decide what to wear, you change your clothes two or three times before leaving the house. You over-focus on your appearance, your fitness, your weight, teeth-whitening, your sex appeal. The mirror is your best & worst friend.

* You feel envious of others who look good, get ahead, or get special recognition

* You are a perfectionist- and proud of it. 

* You obsess about a failure or mistake and you worry about how it makes you look or what others think about you. 

* You are afraid to disappoint people and do just about anything to avoid their disapproval

* You feel uncomfortable or sad if someone does not like you or if they seem to avoid you or have shunned you. 

* You appear strong outside but inside you feel there’s something missing- like you are not  “enough.” 

A significant way of overcoming the need to do any or all the above is staying grounded at our core, to the truth that we are fixed for life in Deepest Love.

This is something we often remind ourselves of. It easily evaporates with all the competing influences of our lives. Maybe that’s why Jesus spends all of John 15 emphasizing abiding in him and his love. It’s significant that one of the last things he asks of his disciples is to, “ Remain in my love.”  (John 15:9)

You must always come back to this… and be daily aware of this: at your core, you are already good. God declares that in Genesis 1. You were good long before you did anything, and are good after everything you’ve done is then gone.

If you want to reduce your stress, experience more peace, plus build more resiliency at work and in your relationships, become more aware of some of the things you do and say to try to gain approval. This is a great step toward growing stronger levels of self-clarity and emotional health. 

Two Resources That Can Help 

1. In our new book  Nothing to Prove: Find the Significance & Satisfaction You’ve Been Striving for at the Core of Your TrueIdentity one of things we candidly talk about is our own issues with approval and how you, too, can overcome the driving compulsion to be known, feel more important and special.

The soft cover & audio versions of the book are available on Feb 16th! To reserve your copy click HERE.  

!!! Important Announcement: our FREE online class goes live next week

2.  We’re about to launch a FREE online class called:  “Stop Striving and Start Enjoying the Life God Made You to Live.”It’s consists of 3 short video lessons that share priceless lessons we’ve learned that can help you significantly reduce feeling stressed, stuck or stale in any area and start experiencing the ultimate life God made you to live.

To Sign Up NOW for Our FREE online class click HERE.

To find out more, listen to this podcast in its entirety by clicking on the play button.

Ask Us a Question

If you have a question, comment, or thought to share with us,  we’d love to hear from you.  Simply click here: “COMMUNICATE w/ David & Caron.”

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