“An expectation is a resentment under construction.”
Anne Lamott
- People don’t treat us like they should.
- Circumstances don’t turn out like we plan.
- Co-workers don’t come through like they promise.
- Friends aren’t there when we need them.
Letdowns happen when we ramp up expectations. And when expectations are thwarted resentment often hijacks our peace. Left unchecked, resentment quickly leads to deadly bitterness- the single greatest destroyer of relationships. So what can we do?
1) Stay open to different outcomes. Who says everyone you invite to your party must show up? The more locked into an outcome we are the more suffering we can expect to experience.
2) Try to remove the words “should” and “ought” from your vocabulary. What happens, happens- whether we think it should or not. Believing someone should treat us a certain way is a recipe for trouble.
3) Give your time, money, energy without thought that sometime in the future you should be given to in return. Be generous without feeling the need to require pay- back from anyone. Entitlement is a trap that ruins friendships, marriages, and work environments.
Protect yourself from life-sucking resentment by staying present to the grace given to you to accept each moment just as it comes to you.
Written by David and Caron Loveless
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