Category Archives: Recovery

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The Worst/Best Advice If You’ve Been Wronged

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Over the course of my life things have happened to me, people have done things to me that have frightened me, angered me and broken my heart. I had legitimate hurt worthy of comfort and understanding.

Replaying the tapes of the wrongs that were done became my obsession.

Maybe you know something about that, too.

And when these lovely things happen to us there always seems to be a wise cracking person in the crowd (with no trace of blood on their clothes) saying…

Just let it go.

We hear this phrase a lot. It has a nice ring to it. We think it’s probably a good idea— for other people. We tell ourselves that strategy won’t work in our situation. Our situation is different, more complicated, more drastic or sad or life-altering or special.

So we hold on to “it.” This seems like the best plan.

Anyway, to let “it”go would be just plain wrong, way too easy. It’s such a juvenile cliche. To just drop something of this magnitude would be downright irresponsible, would it not? People need to know what this wrong has done to us. Someone or something that caused us this much heartache can’t just walk away scot free.

That is not happening.

Someone’s got to pay for this.

So, we strengthen our grip. And we build a bigger fortress for our suffering.

Somehow, we imagine if we hold out longer our opponent, our tormentor, our adversary will finally get the full picture of what they’ve done.

Surely they will finally SEE what they have caused here. The catastrophic damage. The injustice of it all.

If we dismiss our case against them it would mean that all the pain or money or sleeplessness we’ve gone through would be for nothing. Nada. Nil.

We cannot have that.

Besides, everyone knows it’s the whole principle of the thing. And if you lose your principles, what do you have? Values must be upheld. If we “just let everything go” the entire world would go straight to pot. Pandemonium in the streets. We could never get it all back under control. There must be standards, procedures, ways we treat people, you know, Roberts Rules of Order, The Bill of Rights, The Ten Commandments, that sort of thing.

Yet, we must admit it IS tempting, at times, to let go …a little. The energy required to stay enraged, outraged and engaged in this standoff is depleting our best resources. Scientists tell us, by “holding on” we are literally changing the chemistry of our brain. In a bad way.  It is a proven fact now. We are actually giving ourselves brain damage when we rehearse over and over a wrong that has been done to us.

Well, we snap back. We never asked to be brain damaged.

                                                                                    Hell no, we won’t let go.

Whoever said “just let it go” hasn’t lived our story, that’s for sure.

——-

Jesus said ( with his hands and feet brutally nailed to a Roman cross)
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23

“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Mark 10

“…if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them…”
Mark 11

“Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on a rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
Matt. 7

———–

Letting go of a wound is the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves. And it is the most Christ-like thing we will ever do for someone else.  But, sometimes, it feels impossible. We truly understand this. That’s why we’re here to help.

What or Whom do you need to let go?

You can reach me at [email protected]

or

CONTACT US @youlivetrue.com for a FREE CONSULTATION.

SCHEDULE US TO SPEAK youlivetrue.com/schedule-us-to-speak

***And THANKS FOR SHARING THIS BLOG with someone you think may be interested.

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Are You Black & White or Fifty Shades of Gray?

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In the early days of processing my husband’s betrayal I rejected his vehement declarations that went something like this:

 “Even though I did this, you need to believe me, I never, ever stopped loving you.” 

Yeah, right. There was no way I was buying that.

We just don’t say we love someone and do something so utterly and horribly unloving. 

Or do we?

One of several things that saved our marriage was my learning to hold,

simultaneously

BOTH my husbands many obvious virtues AND this one unthinkable vice. 

 

Like many people, I had often seen my world in black and white. You’re either for us OR against us. You like me OR you don’t. You’re good OR you’re bad. You’re either right OR you’re wrong. It’s either all OR nothing.

I had little capacity for complexity or a healthy, integrated, middle ground. 

 So…

 He was either a loving, godly husband OR an awful, lying cheat.

….an honorable pastor OR a sinful man

…a man of God OR a tool of the enemy.

 

In my hurt and disorientation I could not see the TRUTH of PARADOX:

two opposing statements that are BOTH TRUE at the same time. 

 

Like this familiar statement that most Christians would agree with:

~Jesus was both God and man.

As Mary once said, “But how can this be?”

The same way you can be both a father and a son or a mother and a daughter or a teacher and and an artist or …a Christian and a sinner.

Two different aspects of the same person co-existing. This is called “BOTH AND” or Non-dualistic or “AMPERSAND ( & ) THINKING.” With ampersand thinking you can learn to accept the horror that your loving husband has ALSO been unfaithful, or that your esteemed pastor has ALSO morally failed. 

It means that SIN NEVER CANCELS OUT the GOODNESS in a person’s soul.

It means you can see both aspects of a situation without judging it all one way or the other.

It means you are learning to see how you, too, have goodness & compromise in certain areas of your life.

In her excellent article, “How Can He Do This and Say He Loves Me,” Debbie Lasser describes her own growth in understanding “how can this be?” after discovering her husband’s failures:

” With greater education about (stress) and trauma…I learned how the brain can literally ‘dissociate’ and close off certain memories or behaviors while others take over. I learned that pain, fear, and anger can distract one temporarily from healthy behaviors to choose behaviors to comfort and survive.

I slowly began to believe that betrayal is complicated—not black-and-white. When my worldview expanded to include other possibilities to my simple and legalistic thinking of the past, I could take in the both/and truths of (my husband) Mark’s behaviors: he did love me AND he was medicating some extraordinary pain with unhealthy behaviors.

…embracing ampersand thinking was what led me to stay with my husband. What I knew was that I was in tremendous pain from his infidelity AND I truly loved him. Speaking up about that pain and getting support allowed me to hold the tension of both truths—and to choose to stay and work toward a new life of faithfulness with Mark.” 

Living in the tension of two opposite truths about a person we love or a situation we care about requires a journey through complexity. Most of us don’t like that. That’s too much work, too much mystery. Too much letting go of our need to be right.

We want simple, absolute certainty.

Like, get on or get off the bus.

 Why should I see fifty shades of gray when life can be so much clearer in black or white? 

 

Because REAL LIFE is never just black or white.

 

God Himself is not Father OR Son OR Holy Spirit— but all three in One Person at the same time. A fairly mysterious, simultaneous complexity.

But God is perfect, you say. What about our fallible friends & spouses & family? Do we just OVERLOOK their sin?!

We never overlook pain or unhealthy behavior.

And yet as we do that we also see how our perfect God handles OUR SINS  by receiving, welcoming & holding BOTH our dark & light- the first time, every time for all time.

(Psalm 139:12 …the darkness and the light are both alike to You.)

When this has been gifted to us– where do we get permission to see & hold each other any other way?

 

My journey to embrace the paradox has not been easy. 

But it has made ALL the difference.

It made forgiveness & compassion & complete restoration of our marriage possible.

So, I’m wondering today what situation or relationship with others or even your own view of yourself has you thinking in black and white? Is that bringing you closer to understanding and resolution or is it being destructive, hurtful, limiting, punishing and exclusive?

Sadly, so many marriages, families, friendships, churches and businesses

are being fatally severed by well-meaning but divisive people entrenched in either/or thinking.  

We all need help to learn how to see a hurtful situation or relationship with more clarity, find a better balance to what feels like opposites, to gain insight, compassion and love. We can’t just read a good book or talk with a friend if we hope to rewire years and years of reinforced patterns of black and white thinking.

That’s why we’re here. Let us help you learn how to see and hold what feels like polar opposites with healing grace and truth.

And please SHARE this blog with someone you think may be interested.

You can reach me at [email protected].

CONTACT US: youlivetrue.com/schedule-a-consultation 

SCHEDULE US TO SPEAK youlivetrue.com/schedule-us-to-speak

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Where IS God When the Stuff Hits the Fan?

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In the early months of the worst crisis of my life, God went AWOL.

Seriously. I was in shambles and God was a no show.

Thanks, I told God, for feeling the freedom to high tail it out of here

leaving me to fend for myself in this snake infested quicksand of catastrophe.

Being in literal, physical shock had a lot to do with my utter disconnect.

But, there were also a whole lot of questions I really needed answers to …..like….

why would you, God, put a sweet girl like me in a mess like this? I mean, You SAW all this coming right?

In the famous words of that great saint, Ricky Ricardo,

God had some “splaining” to do.

Sometimes, God does seem to ignore us in our most desperate hours.

I hate that.

And sorry, Carrie Underwood, great song, but why would I ever let

Jesus Take The Wheel

when it looks like he keeps falling asleep?

I hope you’ve never felt like God abandoned you

or experienced confusion over his whereabouts when bad news showed up at your door.

But, if you have, I want to pass along a few things I am learning:

1) Jesus said, ‘ No good tree bears bad fruit‘

which we can pretty safely rely on to mean: “no Good God makes anything bad.” Hmm.

You mean, God does not cause bad things to happen to good people?

Like God did not “take my sister to heaven”

because heaven needed her more than we did?

No. God is a Giver, not a taker.

This is not God trying to teach us a lesson,

or take away someone or something we love more than we love him

because he is a “jealous God.”

God is Good. God only gives Goodness.

2) When hard things happen God is not “causing” them –

but, hang on-

consider -also-  that God might not be “preventing” them either.

 Whaaat?

I thought God is supposed to protect us.

(It may have something to do with our idea of “protection.”)

But, from the beginning, God gifted us with a powerful thing called

free will.

 Yay! I am free

to live and explore and love and enjoy my life as much as I please.

 

I LOVE MY FREE WILL!

And…THEY are also free to make ugly faces, ignore, judge, hate,

neglect, abuse, even murder someone

with that same lovely free will.

Oh, yikes.

 I HATE YOUR FREE WILL!

The gifts of God are irrevocable–God doesn’t have a return policy on free will-

just like -thankfully- there are no returns on God’s love.

We are free to hurt each other till the cows come home

and God is not a rabid referee blowing the whistle at every little foul thing.

This is an eternal spiritual “law’ written in the Universe. For everyone.

We don’t get our free will revoked for wreckless living.

So-that stinks in stinky situations.

This is one case where it appears we can’t it both ways.

3) God “allowed” the potential for our suffering when God gave us all free will.

AND God, knowing this would be the case

has made provision for us whenever heartache comes.

 Jesus reminds us of God’s promise to never leave us or forsake us,

regardless of what the free-willed world dumps on us.

 God is ever-present in times of trouble.
Which I now translate to mean:

Whatever comes– God comes with it.

God is ever present to our pain and suffering, our fear and disappointment

and God comes right in there with it to overwhelm us

with Great Goodness, Grace & Hope.

This is what it really means to be able to say

‘With God ALL things are possible.’

The focus is always ‘with God.’

 When we acknowledge, when we sink our full weight into the reality

that God With Us, is ever- in us strengthening,

Ever-over us comforting, ever-under us carrying,

it almost hardly matters what situation we face.

God -for sure -has got us fully covered.

Our job –the hardest part

–is to release our resistance to what is happening

& allow God’s Comfort & Goodness

to carry us through the day of trouble without our fighting it.

God cannot cause our suffering and may not prevent it.

But God sees it, knows it, feels it and redeems it.

 God overwhelms whatever overwhelms us with Himself.

When we can find God’s presence in our pain

God is able to carry us through anything.

 If you find yourself in times of trouble, conflict or brokenness

or if you sense there must be a better way to do this life

let us @youlivetrue.com be part of God’s being present to you. Contact us.

And Thanks! for passing this blog on

to someone you think might be interested.

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Jesus Shows Us ‘The Way’

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Here’s a very personal video message from us for Easter weekend.  We hope you’ll use it as some part of your own private reflections.  May you receive a significant breakthrough as you acknowledge The One Who Shows Us The Way in everything.

Click this on: 

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Video of David & Caron Loveless Recommissioning Service

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We’ve had a number of requests for the video of our Recommissioning Service hosted by Grace Church here in Orlando & led by various local & national leaders on 9.28.14.  The Youtube link is below.   It’s  1hr and 45min.   Each speaker averaged about 6-7minutes.  Caron and I start speaking about 55minutes into the video.  The last 20minutes is a recommissioning prayer that selected leaders prayed over us.

We were surprised by the number of folks who commented afterward that the service & spirit of God represented gave much hope for their own unique situations, renewed their faith in the church or did something in them they weren’t expecting. Feel free to pass the link on to anyone you feel may benefit.  We’ve been told the service brought  great hope for all kinds of impossibilities becoming possible. 

http://youtu.be/EEg6WfuR4Gw

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3 Reasons We Avoid Counseling

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Written by Caron Loveless 

In thirty-nine years of marriage, my husband, David, has suggested we go to counseling at least two or three times. (He says it was more like five or six .) However many times it was, whenever he broached the subject, I declined. I made excuses.  He was welcome to go on his own.

I was afraid.

And I felt angry and defensive

and weak for being fearful of something

 many people seem to find pretty easy to do.

I knew we were stuck.  But,

my fear of counseling

far outweighed whatever discouragement

 I may have felt about a trouble spot in our marriage.

Many of us, in the midst of a relational challenge,

might admit we could benefit from a neutral, outside advisor,

 yet, we still won’t go to a counselor.

From my own experience, here are three reasons why:

1)   “Things are not all that bad.”

In every relationship there’s probably one partner who feels more discouraged by disagreements than the other. Maybe they had a more “peaceful,” non-confrontational childhood.  Maybe their parents never argued or resolved conflict in front of them.  This was David’s story.  To avoid negative emotions was considered a virtue in his home. As a result, he grew up with less tolerance for tension at the family level.

You might say he was “fight avoidant.”

The partner with the most discomfort from relational discord

is often the first to suggest seeing a counselor. 

Their spouse, however, may feel more familiar with raised voices and raw emotions. This was my story. I was used to people flying off the handle then walking around the house giving others the silent treatment. Ours was a home with daily drama and frequent relational fallout. This deeply disturbed and scarred me as a child, but it grew me into a “fight-resilient” adult. I knew the roof wouldn’t cave in when there was discord. It just didn’t rattle me. Seems good, right? Sure. But there’s a downside.

While “fight survivors” take arguments in stride, they may be immune to hidden resentment building in their traumatized spouse.

2)   “We’re smart people, we can figure this out ourselves.”

I mean, we’ve been to college, graduate school. We hold down jobs that require smart decision-making, collaboration and troubleshooting. We’re reasonable people who deeply love each other and want the best for our relationship. This isn’t rocket science. Surely, we can narrow down the issues

and come to a win/win solution that satisfies both of us.

 In our case, you can add to that that we had spent decades offering pastoral counsel in public and private settings. Scores reported being wonderfully helped in their marriages and families. If we could help others, we should be able to help ourselves.

But, what happens when you’re on the eighth, twelfth or fiftieth version of the same basic issue?  Do we just “ agree to disagree?” We might. But, by this time, chances are, at least one spouse will be feeling pretty fried.  Sometimes, they voice their despair. Sometimes, they don’t. And when they can’t, won’t or don’t fully admit their true status, we have no way on our own to gauge the level of danger in our relationship.

It’s like this:

Most of us go to a professional to get our haircut.

With all the worlds’ technology; in 2014 we still need help cutting the hair on the back of our head. We just can’t reach it or see what we’re doing back there. Maybe we could learn to view an appointment with a counselor like we do making an appointment at a salon. For some of us, it costs about the same.

There are things about us we just aren’t trained to see

 or can get to on our own.

3)   “It feels like being I’m being dragged into the principal’s office.”

Some of us deal with shame. Often, we’re not even aware when shame is driving us. Shame can make us feel like we’ll never “be enough” or that somehow, we always feel we’re “in trouble.” Shame keeps us walking on eggshells; fearful something we do might land us in trouble with authority figures, people we care about, even people we don’t know.  This awful feeling of being in trouble is a feeling we must avoid at all costs.

It’s possible those with shame were constantly chided, ridiculed or criticized as a child.  Maybe the punishment and displeasure of our parents could be so severe we grew up anxious, fearful or angry and any situation where we could be shown in a bad light puts us in near panic. This was me. Just the idea of going to a counselor made me feel so anxious that I determined to avoid that experience at all costs.  And, it wasn’t just counselors that made me feel this way. I felt panicked at performance reviews, constructive criticism, even someone who was offering me helpful feedback.

I often felt small inside.

Going to a counselor meant I had to admit I had a problem

or

that we had a problem

                                                                                                     or

my worst fear of all

that I WAS the problem.

I could not afford to feel any smaller than I already did,

even at the cost of marital strife. I simply could not afford more internal reduction to my already fragile self.

The good news:

 I did, eventually, see several counselors

about some troubling issues related to my career.

And I didn’t pass out from the experience. I found the counselors helpful

and reassuring, not nearly as threatening and condemning as I feared.

The bad news:

I did hold to my fear of marriage counselors

(ahem- the principal’s office)

This may have been one of the greatest mistakes of my life.

 But, I would not know this until much later.

At this writing, I’ve spent more time with counselors

 than I ever could have imagined.

Next blog, we’ll look at how I have grown

to value the compassion and insight of skilled counselors.

 It’s been a remarkable, healing, life-altering journey

 heaping countless benefits into my life and our marriage.

It was from our own experience

and our deep desire to bring healing and wholeness

 to leaders, teams and couples that we started

KairosCollective.com.

We totally get your fears about counseling.

We treat you, as we desire to be treated. Contact us today for an initial consultation. If we’re not right for you, we’ll make recommendations to other counselors we trust.

*** Are you counseling resistant?

***Other thoughts about the challenges of counseling?

***Tell us about it below.

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Recommissioning Service

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Several months ago, several of the leader’s who we’ve submitted our lives to during this past season, said to us: “It’s time for you to re-engage in public ministry again.  We don’t feel like you have LESS to offer than before.  We actually feel like you have even MORE to offer than ever before… because of all you’ve gained now.”  From those words and many others, what has emerged is a gathering, planned for next month, by a number of leaders, to reinstate us into vocational ministry, should we so choose.

On Sunday evening September 28th, Grace Church Orlando will be hosting a recommissioning service where both local and national pastors and leaders will reaffirm God’s call on our lives and restore us to public ministry.  We are deeply humbled and honored by the outpouring of love, support and grace these respected leaders are extending to us.  Our reinstatement to ministry comes after much prayer, consultation and with the full endorsement and encouragement of our counseling team of Rich Plass and Jim Cofield, as well as the five intrepid men on my personal support team who have walked closely beside me the last 17 months and to whom I owe a debt I can never begin to repay.

We could not even begin to be at this threshold without the profound work of God’s Spirit in our lives and marriage and certainly not without the remarkable grace… strength… courage… perseverance… desire… commitment of my remarkable wife, Caron.

We, along with the Grace Church staff and elders would love for you to join us for this milestone evening in our lives.  The service begins @ 6:30pm in the Grace Church Orlando auditorium (1765 West State Rd 434, Longwood, Fl 32750).

Caron and I will be sharing as well as a number of the pastors and leaders who plan to be there.  We’re told Grace Church is planning a reception after the service.  It would be so great to see you there.

Thank you for allowing us the honor of sharing our life and learnings with you these past few months.  We believe there is much more to come.

Overwhelmed by God’s goodness.  David Loveless

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Letting Go Of Your Negative Storyline

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There are teachers, and then there are master teachers. Richard Rohr has been one of the most profound & enlightening voices in our journey of the last 2-3 years. His influence crosses denominations and we believe the impact of his life and writing will continue for generations to come. We have been so moved by a recent blog of his that we wanted to share it with you as well. He brings a feast for the soul. Dig in.

“Forgiveness is simply the religious word for letting go. To forgive reality is to let go of the negative story line, the painful story line that you’ve created for it.

To forgive reality is to let go of the negative story line, the painful story line that you’ve created for it. If that story line has become your identity, if you are choosing to live in a victim state, an abused consciousness, it gives you a false kind of power and makes you feel morally superior to others. But let me tell you, it will also destroy you.

It will make you smaller and smaller as you get older. You will find that you have fewer and fewer people you can trust, fewer and fewer people, if any, that you can love. Life itself becomes a threat. Your comfort zone becomes tinier and tinier.

Thankfully, God has given us a way to not let the disappointments, hurts, betrayals, and rejections of life destroy us. It is the art of letting go. If we can forgive and let go, if we don’t hold our hurts against history and against one another, we will indeed be following Jesus.

The wounds of the crucified Jesus symbolize sacred wounds, transformative wounds that do not turn him bitter. After the crucifixion, there’s no record of Jesus wanting to blame anybody or accuse anybody. In fact, his last words are breathing forgiveness: “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

If we are to follow Jesus, he says we’re simply to forgive one another as God has forgiven us. He says we should forgive one another not seven times, but “seventy times seven times” (Matt 18:22).

What that implies, first of all, is that God is all mercy and all forgiving in God’s very nature. But it also implies that Jesus knows we are going to make mistakes. He assumes human beings are going to hurt one another and do it wrong—maybe even seventy times seven times. This should keep us all humble.”

* So which part of your negative, failed storyline do you need to let go?

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How To Die On A Cross- Pt. 2

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In my relentless pursuit of happiness, one of the things I missed along the way, was this counter intuitive principle from Jesus that, sometimes, to obtain the best of life we must go through the worst of it.  In last week’s guest blog, my friend, Mike Breen, wrote a phenomenal post I wanted to pass on because it 1) speaks so deeply & truly to where Caron and I have been  2) you, too will identify with Mike’s personal story and insight— or you will sometime soon.

I’m regularly asked about what my current journey as a recovering leader & follower of Jesus has been like.  Many ask about the lessons I’ve learned.  There have been a boat load and I want to share those with you in the months to come.  Mike’s post reflects one of those important lessons.

(Mike Breen, is the founder of 3DMovements. He knows a bit about personal crucifixion and the longing we all have for a resurrected life.)

“I am convinced that everyone who follows Jesus will have at least one experience of isolation and exposure in public (and probably more than one experience of it). That’s personal crucifixion.  Until you actually know what that’s like, you haven’t been crucified with Christ.  Crucifixion is coming to a point of exposure and death where the things you’ve done- or others have done to you (deservedly or not)- will cause you to feel shame, guilt, and fear… but never in private.  Crucifixion always occurs in public.

The immediate temptation all of us feel when confronted with this is to minimize it, hide from it, cover over it, manage it, avoid it somehow.  But the only way to deal with it is to fully embrace the process of being crucified.

 You can’t hide on the cross.

Jesus could not cover himself, because his hands were nailed to the crossbeam.

You will get to this point from time to time as a follower of Jesus.  Things will happen and you will feel betrayed, let down, unjustly treated. Life will make you feel alone and isolated and exposed.  Oftentimes you’ll experience these things in the harsh light of other people’s public observation.

 In those moments, the best thing to do is let the process crucify you.  Here’s what I mean by that: It causes you to let go of the things that you normally rely upon as your means of security.

For example, many people find their sense of meaning and security from the approval of others.  Others find security in support by others or material wealth.  Still others look to their moral uprightness for their security.

During personal crucifixion, none of these things are available to you.  You are stripped of every source of idolatrous security and significance.

 Being crucified forces you to rely on the most important thing: your relationship with God.  The most important thing is that, just like Jesus, you have a Father into whose hands you can commit your life.

 Until you get to the place where all you have is God,

it’s difficult to understand how significant he really is to you

You don’t know how strong the rope is until you let go of the cliff face and trust the rope.  This is the work crucifixion does in our life.  You’ll have at least one of these experiences; most of us have multiple crucifixions in our life.

That’s certainly been my experience in just this last year.  A little over one year ago I repented to the 3DM team here in Pawleys Island of something being exposed in me: the vanity of an unlimited capacity.  My personality drives me to seek omni-competence and complete capability in all situations. I don’t like feeling inadequate or weak.  Last year I got to the point of realizing that is a vanity. It easily leads me to be proud and judgmental.

So what I did last year is what I’ve done with every crucifixion (and there have been several others since that time last year): embrace it, and to live it out publicly.  You have to live it publicly!  That’s the only way that you can be a person who grows in your security in God.  So if you want to actually grow as a Christian, you have to go through crucifixion.  It’s the only way you’ll ever know that God is your only support, and he’s enough as your support.

Here’s the thing about this—the only way to fully experience resurrection is to fully experience crucifixion.  If you want to live the resurrected life, you have to live the crucified life.  The good news is that resurrection is what lies beyond the “bad news” of crucifixion.  Here’s how Paul puts in later in Galatians:

 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation.

You receive that new creation by dying to the old one.  So if you feel like crucifixion is what is happening right now in your walk with Jesus, embrace it- committing your life to your Father- and trust him for resurrection on the other side.”

* What kind of cliff are you having to let go of right now?  Is it easy or difficult to ‘trust the rope?’ 

Mike Breen can be contacted @ 3dmovements.com

(Painting by Pierre-Paul Prud’hon)

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How To Die On A Cross- Prt 1

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If you’re like me, you’d rather read a blog like “36 Ways to Be Happy in Jesus” than “How to Die on a Cross.”  But my friend, Mike Breen, has written a phenomenal post I want you to read because it 1) speaks so deeply & truly to where Caron and I have been  2) you, too will identify with Mike’s personal story and insight— or you will sometime soon.

 I’m regularly asked about what my current journey as a recovering leader & follower of Jesus has been like.  Many ask additional questions regarding lessons that I’ve learned.  There have been  multiple lessons & experiences-many I want to share with you here in the months to come.

Mike Breen, is the founder of 3DMovements knows a bit about personal crucifixion and the longing we all have for a resurrected life

Here is Part 1…

“If you’re going to be a follower of Jesus, you’re going to be crucified.  Following Jesus means taking the path he takes. Since his path led to the cross, ours will lead there as well.  Following Jesus will always mean being led into a personal crucifixion.

Galatians is a letter written by Paul to a group of churches who were taking a path away from a walk of faith and towards a walk of good works and law.  The path these churches were on caused Paul to be deeply distressed and discouraged; these are the first churches he planted on his first missionary journey.  It was like his firstborn deciding not to be a part of the family anymore.

Here’s what Paul wrote to them:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

For Paul, following Jesus meant being “crucified with Christ.”  As we look at the crucifixion of Jesus we see at least a couple similarities between Christ’s crucifixion and ours.

 * Personal crucifixion is public.  Soldiers cast lots for Jesus’ clothes, which means he was naked and exposed on the cross.  Personal crucifixion always exposes us.  It strips away whatever pretense we were hiding behind and humbles us.  Personal crucifixion isn’t you alone in your house working on stuff, it’s out in the open.  People can see it happening.

 * Personal crucifixion is isolating.  Leading up to the cross Jesus’ closest friends couldn’t stay awake and pray with him, and in the end most of them abandoned him.  Crucifixion is an isolating experience.  Although there is transparency in our death, it is isolating.  That’s the shocking paradox of crucifixion – it is isolating exposure, a public loneliness unlike any other death.

I am convinced that everyone who follows Jesus will have at least one experience of isolation and exposure in public (and probably more than one experience of it).  That’s personal crucifixion.  Until you actually know what that’s like, you haven’t been crucified with Christ.  Crucifixion is coming to a point of exposure and death where the things you’ve done- or others have done to you (deservedly or not)- will cause you to feel shame, guilt, and fear… but never in private.  Crucifixion always occurs in public.

Here’s the thing about this—the only way to fully experience resurrection is to fully experience crucifixion.  If you want to live the resurrected life, you have to live the crucified life.  The good news is that resurrection is what lies beyond the “bad news” of crucifixion.”

* What kind of “crucifixion” have you gone through or else are fearful of going through?  Where is there good news in what looks like nothing but bad news?

Next week- Part 2.

Mike Breen can be contacted @ 3dmovements.com

(Painting by Pierre-Paul Prud’hon)