Category Archives: Loss

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God’s Message To You Through A Violin

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Not long ago, I was asked to speak at a church and just before I brought the message the worship team led us in a song that featured a violin. Later, I learned that violin was being played by a girl named Mariana, who was one of the top young violinists in Romania.

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As Mariana played I sensed God drawing my attention to the instrument and saying, “I have something to say to you and to the church through this violin.”  So, as I sat there, totally moved by the soaring, emotive melody God spoke two things to me :

1) Just like in nature, everything that appears to have died, comes back again in other life-giving forms.

That violin was a miracle.  Once, it was a piece of dead wood.

Now in the hands of Mariana, it became a singing tree!

In 1 Corinthians 15:46, scripture says that “first comes the natural, then the spiritual.”  One of the best ways to understand what’s going on in our invisible, spiritual world is to notice what’s happening in front of us in the material one.

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LTP 24- Finding Good News In Harsh Places

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In this podcast Episode, David Loveless talks about how good news is birthed in harsh places.

Listen to the Audio

Here is a brief summary of today’s episode of “The Live True Podcast.”  You can use this as a reference or reminder of key things you feel like you need to pay attention to or pass on to others, in the next 7 days of your life.

For most of us, we’ve believed that good news is birthed in good places, not harsh places.  But Mark 1 turns that notion on its ear.

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Mark 1:1-4  The beginning of the good news about Jesus the Messiah, the Son of God, as it is written in Isaiah the prophet:  “I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way”— “a voice of one calling in the wilderness/desert, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.’” And so John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness/Desert, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.”

 I’m drawn toward the fact that the beginning of the good news… the birthplace of the good news is in the desert.- where it feels like bad news.

Listen to David’s examples, in today’s audio podcast, of his time in both deserts and gardens.

All of living, loving, & leading seem to flow on a continuum

between garden and desert experiences.

Garden experiences Desert experiences
Promised land

Lush

Abundance

Joyful

Easy

 No mans land

Barren

Scarcity

Painful

Difficult

It’s interesting to me that our spiritual story begins in a garden in Genesis 2:8… and our biological story begins in a garden-like womb.

But, look where we’re first introduced to the ministry of Jesus —in the desert.  God’s Good News Tour doesn’t open on top of a scenic mountain or in a palatial garden. It starts from a place of isolated emptiness.

Listen to the audio podcast as David describes how he reacted over the years, to have desert-like experiences and what was the result of them.

 Luke 3: 4-6   “A voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low.  The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth.  And all people will see God’s salvation.’”

In your place of difficulty or temptation or hardship where you feel most exposed to enemies activity… God says make a straight path for me there and let me walk there…  let me walk in the desert place of your life and let’s walk straight into it and straight through it.

Here is another part of challenge of Luke 3: many people never step foot in the church because they don’t feel welcomed or invited.  They see the church as an exclusionary institution, that decides who’s right and who’s wrong.

The church often makes mountain tops higher

and the valleys deeper for people to get through.

It tends to turn the whole thing into an obstacle course.

But the job of true religion is to make it easy for people to understand and draw close to the very thing they were made for.

Here’s several things I had to ‘get straight’ in my desert…

A.   I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind that this path, while difficult beyond description, was going somewhere profoundly good and it wasn’t to hell.

B.   I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind that this path, wasn’t going to last forever…. even though I could see no other road ahead.

Jesus came bringing this good news.  And a part of what makes it so good is that it stands up to the heat of even the most difficult places.

Where is your desert?  Your place of need?

Wherever that place is for you, God says let me walk with you THERE, because I’m not ashamed of it anymore than I am ashamed of you.  I’m good news to you in the desert, as well as the garden.  I love you. I’m with you…wherever you are.

Here are some amazing words from Isaiah 35:

Wilderness and desert will sing joyously, the badlands will celebrate and flower—Like the crocus in spring, bursting into blossom, a symphony of song and color.  Energize the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!”

Springs of water will burst out in the wilderness, streams flow in the desert. Hot sands will become a cool oasis, thirsty ground a splashing fountain.

The people God has ransomed will come back on this road. They’ll sing as they make their way home, unfading halos of joy encircling their heads,  Welcomed home with gifts of joy and gladness as all sorrows and sighs scurry into the night.

David finishes this podcast with a blessing for you in your desert places.

To find out more, listen to this podcast in its entirety by clicking on the play button.

Ask Us a Question

If you have a question, comment, or thought to share with us,  we’d love to hear from you.  Simply click here: “COMMUNICATE w/ David & Caron.”

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LTP 23- Accepting Our Necessary Losses

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In this podcast Episode, David & Caron Loveless discuss how to live through and actually cooperate with both little and big deaths or losses throughout our lives, so something even larger and more fulfilling can emerge from it all… and how the resurrection shows the way.

Listen to the Audio

Here is a brief summary of today’s episode of “The Live True Podcast.”  You can use this as a reference or reminder of key things you feel like you need to pay attention to or pass on to others, in the next 7 days of your life.

Let’s begin with my confession:  “I don’t like to die!”

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It’s no surprise that as humans we avoid physical death, like the plague.  But there’s actually a far more significant death that we avoid… it’s the death of our ego… the death of who we perceive we are, or think we should be… the death of who we think others want us to be or think that we are.  So let me try again.

“I don’t like for anything I’ve manufactured…. created… can take credit for… I’m attached to… my beliefs, my opinions… my compulsive thinking….that i believe enhances or supports my identity.. I don’t like for any of that to die.”

We have a fear of dying our little deaths but it is the thing that keeps us from growing.

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The Gutsiest Blog I’ve Ever Written About The Scariest Thing We’ve Ever Done

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What I’m about to share with you is deeply personal. This is the first time I’ve shared it publicly. And I’m a little anxious because once it’s out there, it’s out there. But I’m motivated. I believe what could come from it is utterly critical for someone- maybe several someones.

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One morning, almost three years ago, I woke to the sound of my husband sobbing. He was hunched over in a chair at the foot of the bed. His face, streaming tears, his eyes, scared and bloodshot.

I bolted up. “Oh, my gosh, honey. What’s the matter? What in the world? What has happened?” My mind darted through possibilities. I’d seen him cry plenty of times, but never like this. I instantly hurt for whatever drastic thing was causing him such anguish.

“I have a really, really hard thing to tell you.”

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That really, really hard thing was going to shatter every molecule of our entire world. Except for learning that my husband had died –this news was the worst possible. It was the one announcement I was 1000 percent certain would never be handed to me.

If someone had held a gun to my head and said, “True or false. Your husband has been unfaithful. If we find out that statement is false you live. If it’s true, you die. ” Cool as a cucumber I would have said, “Oh gee. I’m shaking in my boots.”

But the gun went off .

And I did die- for a long time — I died a thousand, million big and little deaths.  And so did the man I loved. 

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Nothing to Prove: Chapter 2: What We Know Now

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The following is an excerpt from our new ebook that is available beginning today.  This book is a a very candid, behind the scenes look, at the journey of transformation that we’ve been on the last several years, and the things we’ve learned that can help change your life as well.

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Chapter 2:  What We Know Now

 

You can never be other than who you are

until you are willing to embrace the reality of who you are.

David Benner

You don’t have to experience a tragedy like ours, or any other failure with a thousand different names, in order to identify the real root of your own internal issues. We hope it won’t come to that. Our purpose in writing this book is to help you avoid some of the ditches in your future if at all possible. Unfortunately, for many of us it often does take a serious trial, illness or loss to break us open enough to see parts of our life that aren’t working so well.

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The Unexpected Path to Humility

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I am always surprised when I meet a truly humble person – first, because it is such a rare event. But, what I’ve noticed just getting around them is I feel instantly drawn in. Maybe, this is because, for a few minutes, at least, their calming presence convinces me to release my constant, unconscious vigil to convince everyone I am a wonderful, capable and very special person.

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Maybe, I feel comfortable with humble people because they seem so ordinary, like they have nothing to prove and no desire to compete with me in some life defining turf war.  They just seem so comfortable within themselves. Maybe this is why they seem so strange to us! Who do you know that is truly content within themselves?

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If You’re Running On Empty

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Things seem to go empty just when you need them most.

Like, you’re making a turkey sandwich, you reach in the frig and the mayonnaise jar is empty.  Or, you’re twenty minutes late for an appointment across town and you look down and your fuel gauge reads “empty.” Or you’re hiking in the desert, in August, and you open your canteen but …it’s empty.

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Empty things are a problem for us.

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An Open Letter to My Wife, to God, & to You

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phontoIf you don’t mind my getting a little personal… or even if you do mind, I’m going to anyway.  Let me get personal about me and my story… and then I want to get personal about you and your story.

I’ve got something extraordinary to celebrate.  

Caron and I are celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary this week.  Under any circumstances, this would feel like an extraordinary thing to celebrate.  40 years of doing anything doesn’t happen that often.

 

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But as you know, under our circumstances, it’s a sign and a wonder.  It’s a miracle of miracles.

Almost 2 1/2 years ago when I woke up my wife one morning, to confess to her the worst failure of my life, that had happened more than several years earlier, I watched what had been a fabulous marriage for both of us, descend into a depth of hell, that there is not adequate enough language to describe.

Because of the massive pain it brought to Caron… and the massive disorientation it brought to her and our family… as well as the public humiliation that ensued, I would have never predicted we would be where we are today.  I believed in miracles… and had participated in many over the years, but this was in another miracle galaxy that I wasn’t sure we could reach.

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47 Quotes That Will Change Your Life

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IMG_1967True confession: I’m a quote hoarder.

I underline, dog-ear, highlight, copy and paste other people’s wisdom several times a day. I keep 3×5 cards in my purse and scribble quotes in the dark at the movies. I say, “Ooooh that’s a good one.”  A lot.

And I’ve been doing this for years.

So, today, I’m sharing just a sliver of the insight, advise and sayings that have caught my eye, grabbed my heart and challenged me to grow. They are changing me. And I hope these ancient/modern musings make you stop and think or reevaluate your own view of things and, like they have for me, may they give you a little more juice for your journey of living, loving and leading.

What I want you to know: 

* It caused me great pain (no torture) to limit this to merely 47.  

*Quotes appear in no certain order.  They are ALL my favorites.

*Just because I quote someone it doesn’t mean I agree with every single thing they have ever written or what they believe. (Heck, I can’t recall ever agreeing with everything ANYONE has ever said.) I like the adage, “Chew the meat and spit out the bones.”

*All truth is God’s Truth no matter who presents it.  I draw from all kinds of sources that resonate with my own life experience or with the Spirit in me. I want to be able to learn from anyone.

* Pick one quote to pass on or to tape to your bathroom mirror. 

*Read slow and… savor.

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1) The longer one stays in flight from reality, the more painful will be the landing.

Taite Adams

 

2) Your task is not to seek for love but to merely find the barriers within yourself that you have built up against it.

    Rumi

 

3) The thing about denial is that it doesn’t feel like denial when it’s going on. 

    Georgina Kleege

 

4) We become whomever we trust the most says we are.

     Bob Goff

 

5) I was born, when all I once feared, I could love.

    Rabia

 

6) Where is the Life we lost in living? 

    T.S.Eliot

 

7) We have all laid the best plans for our children, and then they go out and ruin it all by growing up any way they want to.

   Kristina Riggle

 

8) The way we treat people we disagree with most is a report card on what we’ve learned about love. 

    Bob Goff

 

9) In prosperity our friends know us. In adversity, we know our friends.

G.K. Chesterton

 

10) For although God is right with us and in us and out of us and all through us, we have to go on journeys to find him.

Thomas Merton

 

 11) When I believed my thoughts I suffered.

       Byron Katie

 

12) It’s all that pretending to be perfect that breeds inauthenticity in the church.

       Rich Mullins

 

13) All paths do not lead to God. But God will meet you on whatever path you’re on.

      Unknown

 

14) You can either practice being right or practice being kind.

Anne Lamott

 

15) Sin never introduces itself to us as pain.

      David Loveless

 

16) The lesson that has been hardest for me to learn: there is nothing to prove. 

      Rob Bell

 

17) You have power over your mind- not over outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. 

     Marcus Aurelius

 

18) You need to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes every day. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on your mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. 

     Elizabeth Gilbert

 

19) Sometimes, to be happy in the present moment, you have to be willing to give up hope for a better past.

   Robert Holden

 

20) One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

     Bob Marley

 

21) Sometimes, in life, nothing happens. But, sometimes, nothing happens beautifully.

      Colum McCann

 

22) When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God.

     Charles Allen

 

23) We find it hard to love imperfect things so we imagine God is just as small as we are. If we expect or need things to be perfect or to our liking ( including ourselves) we have created a certain path for a very unhappy life.

    Richard Rohr

 

24) We are shaped by what we love.

      Goethe

 

25) Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

      Jessica Howell

 

26) The impeded stream is the one that sings.

Wendell Berry

 

27) No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.

      Randy Pausch

 

28) Love is the absence of judgement.

      Dali Lama XIV

 

29) I was changing my outfits, my looks, my wig, sometimes several times a day. That’s when I know my soul is restless. 

     Lady Gaga

 

30) Sin is unwillingness to trust that what God wants for me is only my deepest happiness.

Ignatius of Loyola

 

31) There are three things we have to let go of. The first is the compulsion to be successful. Second, is the compulsion to be right—especially theologically right. (That’s merely an ego trip, and because of this “need” churches split in half, with both parties prisoners of their own egos.) Finally, there is the compulsion to be powerful, to have everything under control.

    Richard Rohr

 

32) The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find out the ones worth suffering for.

  Bob Marley

 

33) The way you measure the difference between being blessed or being spoiled is the degree to which you feel entitled to it. 

    Mike Breen

 

34) Be with those who help your being.

    Rumi

 

35) I will learn to love the skies I’m under

      Mumford & Sons

 

36) Someone’s therapist knows all about you.

       Dominic Riccitello

 

37) None of your sins survived the cross. 

Clark Whitten

 

38) You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.

       Pablo Neruda

 

39) How will you know if you are at the end of your journey if you take the road to another man’s city?

      Thomas Merton

 

40) He has great tranquility of heart who cares for neither the praises or the fault-finding of men. You are not holier if you are praised, nor more worthless if you are found fault with. What you are, that you are. And no human opinion can alter who you are in the sight of God. 

Thomas ‘a Kempis

 

41) It’s never about “them.”

      Byron Katie

 

42) If you don’t love the life God has given you then you’re not seeing the love God has for you. 

Francis Anfuso

 

43) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.

      Carl Jung

 

44) Suffering is a privilege. It moves us toward thinking of essential things and shakes us out of complacency. Calamity cracks you open, moves you to change your ways. 

Pico Iyer

 

45) Everyone wants to change the world, but no one wants to help mom do the dishes.  

Unknown

 

46) If you do not transform your wounds you will transmit them. 

Richard Rohr

 

47) Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. 

    Thomas ‘a Kempis

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48) BONUS Freebie! 

Whatever comes, God comes with it.

Caron Chandler Loveless

 

 

You can reach me at [email protected]

***And THANKS FOR SHARING THIS BLOG with someone you think may be interested.

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What I’ve Learned In The Desert

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I’ve spent some time in the desert. 

One August friends loaned us their home in Palm Desert. Daily temperatures were around 114 degrees. When I went looking for a tennis partner I was told no one played past 11:00am. Just breathing was a chore in that kind of heat. We drove up into the mountains nearby and as far as you could see the land was brittle, barren and forbidding. I think all we did that trip was sit in the pool.

I’ve spent time in gardens, too.

A few weeks ago, Caron and I went to a little town in north Florida and spent a day biking through some of the most beautiful landscape we’d seen in awhile.  Giant, moss-draped oaks lined the streets.

Deep shade kept us cool in the heat of the day. Everywhere you looked there were flowers and miles and miles of lush coastal marshes.  Just a few hours there and we felt refreshed and renewed. 

All relationships and leadership seem to flow on a continuum

between garden and desert experiences. 

It’s interesting to me that our spiritual story begins in a garden in Genesis 1… and our biological story begins in a garden-like womb. Everything we need to thrive and grow is there.  We are fully provided for.

But, look where we’re first introduced to the ministry of Jesus ––in the desert.  God’s Good News Tour doesn’t open on top of a scenic mountain or in a palatial garden.

It starts from a place of isolated emptiness. 

In the beginning of John’s gospel a voice called people to the desert.  The desert is a deeply evocative place in the scriptures, because we’ve been there, metaphorically, in our own lives.  In the Old Testament the desert speaks of leaving, losing, wandering, struggle and preparation. And it’s where people first hear the promise of a promise land… the promise of a messiah

Years ago, after decades of what felt to me like relentless sacrifice in loving and leading, I got increasingly resentful whenever I was forced into “desert time.”  I didn’t deserve to be there. I had worked so hard to get to the “promise land.”

I never said it, but I know I felt that after all I’d done,

I didn’t  deserve ‘no man’s land.’

Know what I’m talking about?

What is your desert of difficulty or temptation or hardship where you feel most discouraged? 

Out in the desert John the Baptist preached,  “Prepare the way for the Lord.  Make straight paths for him.”  

God seems to be saying: make a straight path for me to walk in the desert places of your life… let’s walk straight into it… and straight through it.  You don’t have to stay there, but let’s not miss there.

I’m writing today from the ‘outback’

of the greatest desert experience of my life.

It’s been a couple of years now. And,, as much as I initially agonized in it, over time, I’ve actually grown fond of much of it’s unique terrain and monastic qualities.  

Here’s how I think I got here:

  1.  I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind, that God had led me into this desert experience. I was fully responsible for what got me here and yet, it was God who brought me here. And though there have been many times of extreme loneliness, we know we are not alone.
  1.  I had to ‘get straight” in my mind that this path, while difficult beyond description, was going somewhere profoundly good-and it wasn’t to hell.  God promises that ALL things end up bringing us to where we began- home. And God’s home always has a garden.
  1. I had to ‘get straight’ in my mind that this path, wasn’t going to last forever…. even though I could see no other road ahead. There is a time and season for everything.  And there’s a reason time passes in seasons.God is always creating, redeeming and resurrecting. So this thing IS actually going somewhere. Somewhere really good.

Jesus came bringing good news.  

And a part of what makes it so good is that

it stands up to the heat of even the most difficult places.

Where is your desert?  

Where do you feel you don’t have enough?  Where do you feel hungry for approval?  What are you lacking? What’s always missing? Where is it you don’t deserve to be? What is it you don’t have enough of? Must you always have a next hill to climb, another mission impossible to accomplish?  What things are you using to ‘medicate’ yourself?

* We can get pretty desperate when we think we’re in a desert.*

Wherever that place is for you, God says let me walk with you THERE, because I’m not ashamed of it anymore than I am ashamed of you.  I’m good news to you in the desert, as well as the garden.  I love you. I’m with you…wherever you are.

…Wilderness and desert will sing joyously, the badlands will celebrate and flower—Like the crocus in spring, bursting into blossom, a symphony of song and color.  

Energize the limp hands, strengthen the rubbery knees. Tell fearful souls, “Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right And redress all wrongs. He’s on his way! He’ll save you!”

Springs of water will burst out in the wilderness, streams flow in the desert. Hot sands will become a cool oasis, thirsty ground a splashing fountain.

The people God has ransomed will come back on this road. They’ll sing as they make their way home to Zion, unfading halos of joy encircling their heads,  Welcomed home with gifts of joy and gladness as all sorrows and sighs scurry into the night.

Isaiah 35 (Message)

This is what I’ve experienced in my current desert.  In the midst of all the pain and loss, a symphony of song and color have emerged that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

You can reach me at [email protected]

***THANKS for SHARING this blog with someone you think might be interested.