These days we spend a lot of time coaching and counseling people who are trying to grow through some area of their life that is not working.

Their work world or personal life is not moving as fluid as they’d like and they’ve come to us to figure out how to live, love and lead better. Some want to know what’s causing them to feel stuck or what caused them to experience failure.

One of the first things we notice in these conversations is how honest and in touch a person, couple or leader is able to be with their shadow self. 

Often one reason we get stuck in life is because of something in our shadow self we are unable or unwilling to see. Unfortunately, it usually takes a significant loss or failure to break us open enough to be willing to see what’s really causing our problems.

Your shadow self is composed of “all those things about yourself that you don’t want to see, are not ready to see and you don’t want others to see. Our tendency is to try to hide or deny this shadow part of ourselves, most especially from ourselves.”     Richard Rohr

It’s worth mentioning our shadow self gets us into trouble when we pretend it doesn’t exist and when we don’t understand its power on our thinking, emotions and behavior. It can be so strong or loud that it drowns out our ability to live from the truest, most satisfying source of our divine identity.

A little known fact is our shadow self is not just about our dark side–when we feel insecure or inferior it may also be hiding us from the best, most beautiful part of ourself.

So, can we learn how to observe our shadow self and make the necessary corrections before there is a failure, trauma or loss?

 Sometimes.

Many people have reported to us that after watching our failure they are more eager than ever to see where their own shadow self is secretly tripping them up.

If you’re serious about getting to the bottom of things, here are six ways you can begin to notice and become more aware of the impact your shadow-self(or false self) is having on your life, relationships and leadership:

1)What are people repeatedly trying to tell you about yourself that you either don’t agree with, or can’t see or don’t want to hear? 

2) What really bothers you about others? What do you react to, despise, or frown upon in their words, attitudes or actions?

3) Get alone and listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit. Jesus says, “when the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.”  (John 16) 

4) Note the times, people and places that stir up feelings that suggest you do not have enough, have not done enough or you are not enough. 

5) Which of the tendencies below do you see now or have you seen in yourself or have others mentioned about you?

anger, pride, deceit, envy, greed, fear, gluttony, addiction, irresponsibility, shamelessness, lust, laziness, slothfulness, discord, shame, guilt, ungratefulness, criticism, impatience, meanness, striving, unfaithfulness, perfectionism, over-sensitivity  __________

We want you to notice and become aware of these tendencies in yourself and also to begin to look at them through the tender heart of the Father.

There is a reason (and it’s important we uncover this) we are hiding our deceitfulness or envy or addiction.

Whatever we find, we won’t be excusing it and we won’t be condemning it. We are learning to notice our tendencies, accept ALL we are, and to bring it all out into the loving light of God who unconditionally holds both our vices and virtues together with compassion and grace.

Admitting out-loud that you can see these issues in yourself is the next step. Confessing them to another human being is vitally important if you hope to be free, to be healed from them.

James 5:16 ” Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

 6) The quickest, most comprehensive ways we know to become aware of your shadow self is to take the Live True Assessment. 

We took this test ourselves and we continue to use the findings to help us stay daily aware of the hidden behaviors in our shadow self.

This test has been THE MOST HELPFUL and ACCURATE tool to help us pinpoint our shadow self tendencies before they can do us and others more harm. It takes about 45 minutes.

We send you a link, you take the test, then we process your results and walk you through the findings either in person, if you’re local, or virtually.

We now have objective, reliable eyes to see our own inner shadows. Let us help you envision and experience a breakthrough in important areas of your own life.

If you’d like more information on this tool or would like to schedule an assessment for yourself then click here:  Live True Assessment.  

SUBSCRIBE NOW to our free, weekly podcast THE LIVE TRUE PODCAST where David & I tackle issues like this and a whole lot more.

You can contact me at:  [email protected]

THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING this blog if it was helpful to you.